With the final season of “24” upon us, as Jack Bauer prepares to ride off into the nuclear winter one last time, we at “Bumps in the Night” thought we’d take a moment to identify a few of the series’ missteps over the past 7 seasons. Don’t misunderstand, we love us some “24,” we just think they missed a few story opportunities over the years, and we wanted to show “24” fans what they missed out on. Here’s what season 4 might have looked like had the show’s producers taken advantage of the full scope of Arnold Vosloo’s acting abilities.

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“24″ Season 4:

A plague of locusts lays siege to the city of Valencia, CA.

CTU believes that “one of 3 Middle Eastern Countries” is responsible for the attack. We won’t say which one.

It turns out that known terrorist, Imhotep, “wants to rid the world of the disbelieving crowd of democracy-supporters to be able to enforce his tyrannic dictatorship.”

And he knows the only man who can hope to stop him is…

Jack breaks up with… someone… because he needs to focus more on work. Who was he dating this season? (Take your pick, we fast-forward those scenes anyway)

The next day, at CTU:

“There’s a big sand cloud outside. It says it will only talk to Jack.”

“…Now isn’t really a good time.”

“…”

“I think it’s important.”

“Join me, Jack, and I’ll use the Book of the Dead to resurrect…”

“…your dead wife!”

“Yes, I’ll join you. I know I’ve pretended to betray CTU in the past, but this time I’m really betraying them.”

Imhotep and his army of terrorist followers plan a final strike against the U.S.

But it turns out that Jack was lying to Imhotep all along: he tells CTU the location of Imhotep’s secret base.

A full contingent of CTU agents converge on Imhotep’s secret base.

Tony Almeida is killed in the ensuing battle, sending Jack into a frenzied rage.

CTU Agent Dana Walsh arrives just in time to read aloud an incantation from the book of Amon-Ra, rendering Imhotep mortal once more.

And Jack promptly sends Imhotep back to the afterlife. Permanently.

EPILOGUE:

Tony is moved to a better hospital where his condition is upgraded to “alive.”

Dana Walsh disappears into thin air. Because she was an angel. Or a ghost. Or something.

The future looks bright for Jack, until…

…his daughter Kim is KIDNAPPED!

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And there you have it. Thank you, “24,” for eight very implausible days. And thank you, Jack Bauer: A day without you yelling “Mr. President!” is like a day without sunshine.