Recently, NOGHOST conducted an investigation at the famous McGutty Murder House. That episode will go live on Wednesday, but as a primer, we’ve reprinted portions of the “McGutty House” official brochure. We think it’s official, since it’s the only one we could find. Our scanner was busted, so we just copied this stuff on our blog. Reprinted with permission. At least, we think so: it was a brochure, why wouldn’t they let us reprint it?

In 2003, Jim McGutty murdered his entire family. He shot his wife and two daughters with a .32 caliber shotgun. Now you can walk through the house for affordable rates!

Travel back to the magical land of 2003, to see how we lived then. Our historic tours are perfect for couples, or honeymoons. Why go to Cancun, or Hawaii? Have a honeymoon that you’ll be talking about for a long time.

Should you make it out! Mwa ha ha!

Kids love it, too! Kids today, too much time with video games, and going outside. Teach them something about history, and about their local, somewhere-in-the-valley heritage.

FUN KIDZ QUIZ:

Q: How many of Jim McGutty’s kids managed to crawl next door to the neighbors?

A: It’s a trick question. None of them. Although, police did eventually find pieces of brain matter.

CAPTION: We had the best time at the McGutty Murder House! It was like Chuck E. Cheese, meets Lasertag… where someone died horrifically. (NOTE: CUT “CAPTION”)

LOWEST PRICES OF THE SEASON!

(Note: Death is always in season.)

$25

SPEND AN HOUR IN THE LIVING ROOM!

Jim McGutty killed his family with a shotgun. Now, for the low low low price of $25, you can stand where he did. Where would you line up your shots?

Plastic shotguns to play with for an extra $15. Real bullets for an extra $30! We’re kidding… (wink.) Seriously, we’re kidding.

$35

BUYS AN HOUR IN THE DEN!

Also known as the “Devil’s Den,” the “Demon’s Den,” or sometimes even “The Den,” it’s where Jim McGutty said demons spoke to him!

NOTE: HOPEFULLY, THIS IMAGE ISN’T COPYRIGHTED. IF SO, FIND ANOTHER REAPER

Not actual size.

$5 buys headphones with what a demon may sound like, if it spoke through headphones:

What will the demons say to you? (NOTE: If it’s kill your family, please don’t listen.)

GET AN HOUR IN THE WHOLE HOUSE FOR $50!

…so come on down to McGutty Murder House… where you’ll have the time of your life! Or of your murder!