Today’s entry is about a pair of ghost hunters who are near and dear to our hearts here at “Bumps in the Night.” Two men who, though they started out as lowly plumbers, went on to reach unprecedented ghost-hunting heights. You all know who we’re talking about.

We were able to get an exclusive interview with Luigi, who told us all about he and his brother’s ghost-hunting career.

LUIGI:
“In the early years, we didn’t have too many verifiable experiences.”

TOAD:
“Umm… Maybe the ghost is in another castle.”

LUIGI:
“Our first compelling evidence came during the investigation into four spirits that were haunting a local Political Action Committee director.”

“In our experience, if you look a ghost straight in the eye, it can’t do anything to you.”

“…Yeah, no.”

We identified the malignant spirits, and actually caught them on camera. From left to right: Clyde, Inky, Blinky, Pinky

CLYDE:
“I’m adopted, right? Seriously, you guys can tell me.”

“We got rid of the ghosts, but I had to go into power-pellet detox for a month.”

LUIGI:
“Much has been said about our expedition to Skull Island with Josh Gates.”

“Expedia.com didn’t have service to Skull Island, so we had to charter a boat.”

LUIGI:
“The natives had built a giant wall to contain some kind of monster.”

LUIGI:
“And they kidnapped Peach to offer to the monster as a sacrifice.”

LUIGI:
“Ultimately, my brother was able to rescue her.”

LUIGI:
“Once, Mario even became a ghost to try to try to infiltrate the spirit world from the inside.”

MARIO:
“Lemme have a cranberry juice.”

“What, are you on your period?”

LUIGI:
“That didn’t really end well for anyone.”

LUIGI:
“Some of our lighter moments? Once, Mario thought he saw the ghost of Bobby Ewing.”

LUIGI:
“But it turned out to be just a dream.”

LUIGI:
“Also, this doesn’t really have anything to do with ghost hunting, but there is a weird dude running around impersonating me. If you see him, please alert your local authorities.”