The Bumps in the Night Second Season Finale… in which Hell freezes over, pigs fly and the guys find a ghost hunting group even crazier than them.

Money! The boys finally get a paying customer, an artist with a haunted studio… but they’re drawn into a battle for the very soul of America.

When the boys investigate the infamous McGutty Murder House, they bring in the big guns: namely Betsy, a TV psychic. Will they be destroyed by the evil inside the dangerous house… or just by their own hormones?

Greg and Emmett are called to the home of a man at the end of his rope: he’s not crazy (he says), but his girlfriend is possessed! They race to the scene with a bible and holy water and…booze for John to drink, since he wants nothing to do with this, but things quickly escalate beyond the boys’ control. Can they get out of this? Or is their last hope, truly, at the bottom of a bottle? Tune in for our most dangerous episode yet!

With HD comes high definition terror! And cleavage! When a demonic voice harasses a young wife, can the boys silence the demon before they’re silenced forever? Or is the real terror something less supernatural, and more natural? Like a douchebag husband?

John is thrilled when Emmett springs for a new couch, but Greg is incensed: the couch is supposedly haunted. When John’s new relationship and Emmett and Greg’s partnership seem to be on the line, can the boys save the day? Or will they all be destroyed?

Directed by Taryn O’Neill
http://www.tarynoneill.com/

Guest starring Ariel Lazarus as Kendra
http://www.twitter.com/ariellazarus

Featuring the voice of Benny Fine
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheFineBros

A parking garage harbors an awful smell and a devastating secret. Can the boys find the truth before it destroys them?

Bumps in the Night, the premiere web show about ghost hunting in North Hollywood, returns for its second season! The NOGHOST team moves into a new apartment, but Greg is acting strange(r than usual). Emmett races against time to figure out if his friend is possessed by the dead, fitness-crazed former occupant, and John just wants a good night’s sleep. With an ending more shocking than you can imagine!

 QUESTION:

Starstealer7: With so many ghost hunting shows out there, why should we watch yours?

GREG: We’re tougher. We find the most out of control ghosts, and put them back in control. Put it simply: if ghosts were a running back, we’d be the linebacker who blitzes the ghosts and tackles them for a loss, in your home. Unless it’s a ghost of an actual running back, that’s much more difficult. But the point is: we’re blitzing for you.

JOHN: I’m a skeptic who doesn’t believe, and I’m on the show. No other show has that. Watch another show, and see if someone ever says: “Gee, that EVP sounds like loud static. There is absolutely nothing going on at this location we cost a network a couple hundred thousand dollars to go to. Oh well. Better luck next week!” I’d be punched.

GREG: Mmmmm.

EMMETT: My research indicates our “Hot People and Ghosts” to “Nothing Happening As We Walk Down Corridors” ratio to be better than any other ghost-hunting show anywhere. * Look at these numbers:

145 to 24

77 to 11.5

8

EMMETT: That shows we’re conclusively at the top of ghost hunting shows. If you want your life to be filled with mediocrity, your TV is waiting. If you want your life filled with awesome…check us out! 

—————————–

QUESTION:

Azangel99: http://twitpic.com/6vird – check out these orbs I took at my house. Think I’m alone? NOT  

GREG: You’ve… got a problem there. There’s really only one way you can respond to it: go outside and shout at the white orbs. You’ve gotta do it, and that’s the only way to handle it. If you need a list of insults to shout at the white orbs, we have a list. Make sure as many people see you do it as possible. Obviously, these ghosts like the cold, so the blowtorch is your friend: walk around your house, hitting the orbs with the blowtorch, making loud threats. Make sure as many people see you do this as possible, too: so that the ghosts understand exactly what they’re dealing with.

EMMETT: Despite exhaustive research,  I have been unable to discover any white orbs that could appear in winter. In summer, sure, easy: hail. But winter… it’s a mystery.

JOHN: I don’t think you’re alone, provided “snow” counts as a “person.” However, we could make arrangements for you to overpay us to shovel your driveway.

————————–

QUESTION:

Acrossthenight: Can you recommend or do you know of any Ghost Hunting groups in New Zealand??? 

GREG: I can, or rather, I used to be able to. I had been keeping in contact with a cyber-buddy, R.J. MacReady at a New Zealand Research Facility. I’d e-mail about us, he’d tell me funny stories about New Zealand, like the time he poured booze into the chess machine or the time a dog broke into their research facility. Then, all of a suddenly, he typed: “there’s something here” and I haven’t heard from him in a while.

JOHN: Greg, that was the plot to “The Thing.” You were on the Fan Club’s e-mail list when they went bankrupt.

GREG: Hmmm… that does explain why the e-mails would say things like: “We’re all going to die! To Unsubscribe to this list, click this link!” I thought it was like, a code or something.

EMMETT: Here’s some real New Zealand ghost hunting groups that you probably already know about: http://paranormalactivities.net/

http://www.ghosthunters.co.nz/

http://nzparanormal.com/

EMMETT: If they don’t help you out, let me know. And we’ll make ‘em be helpful. If you’d pay for us to come to New Zealand, we could certainly help you put together a ghost hunting group.

JOHN: Interesting that every time we do an advice column, we end up telling people what we could do for them if they pay us extravagant amounts of money.

GREG: Yes. Odd, that.

———————

Till next time, keep those questions coming in! Maybe we’ll answer yours next time! Fear nothing, and here’s hoping nothing eats you till next week, at the least!  
 
 * SOURCE: Ghost Hunter Statistics Company, Hoboken, NJ

Welcome to the part of the Bumps in the Night blog where we give you advice on things that you might not know how to deal with. Our main goal is keeping you alive, since you’re the ones actually paying attention to us. If you’re dead, you can’t watch internet tv/read blogs, so we each have a rooting interest in some crazy goop not killing you. Obviously, our advice would be: “Don’t Touch the Damn Ooze” but if you’re reading this, it’s probably too late for that.

— Just because it’s green ooze, and that made the Teenage Mustang Ninja Turtles bigger, does not that mean it will make you or any body part of yours bigger, men.

The real "secret ooze"

— If you do touch it, don’t get bitten by anything. (Good advice anyway.) Especially not spiders. You may think you’ll become Spiderman/Spiderbabe/Spiderpre-op, but you won’t shoot any webs. Just imagine silly string shooting out of your finger tips for the rest of your life.

INT. BIG BUSINESS MEETING TO DETERMINE YOUR CAREER

YOU: Hello, Mr. Big Business Boss Man! (extends hand)

BIG BUSINESS BOSS MAN: Hello! Nice to meet you. Let me shake your hand here, and OH MY GOD YOUR FINGERS JUST THREW UP ON ME!!!!

— If you yell out, “I got some of it on me and I don’t know what to do!” and the goop responds: “You’re gonna die, that’s what you’re going to do!” it may be too late. Then again, even if the goop says: “I’m harmless, friendly, and let’s play Wii Tennis till we’re a pro doubles team!” it’s probably still too late.

— To determine if said ooze/goop/stuff is corrosive, throw objects into it. If it eats through them, it’s either acidic, hungry, or both. WARNING: Don’t throw anything into the goop that you couldn’t take in a fight if it came to life. You could handle a pissed-off paper clip, but a file cabinet on a dead run is another matter.

— When decided whether to tell others of a potentially murderous ooze, base your decision on the axis of: “How Much of a Loser-Dork Will I Look Like If the Ooze Doesn’t Attack? Is It Worse to Die, Or Be Really Embarrassed?” With some death goops, (Evil Insane Melted Cotton Candy, for example,) death sooooooooooooo beats embarrassment.

Dangerous when fast and/or alive.

— Your clothes could attack you, depending on the ooze, (and it getting into their pores, making a deal with them they might not see is morally wrong, etc.) Shoes and underwear are the first to betray — they know where you’re from.

— If you decide to fight the ooze, BE SURE: you aren’t fighting the blob, an overweight person who’s on the ground at night, or a water theme park.

— If fighting an on-rushing ooze with others, if someone says: “We gotta shoot the ooze!” knock them completely unconscious. Either they’re being controlled by the ooze, or they’re so supernaturally stupid that they’d give you something to trip over. Which reminds me: you can then use them to build a human dam to stop the ooze! NOTE: EARLIER RULE ABOUT “COULD YOU TAKE THEM” APPLIES.

Do not fight me. Am not ooze.

— There’s really only one way to kill an ooze/goop/stuff. Dropping it into an abyss and shooting it into space don’t work, you have to melt it. Build a superheater-combine with directed heat or a magnifying glass larger than a Toyota, (cheaper in the down economy.) Ooze solved, problem solved. NOW, if the heater/magnifying glass turns on you… you’re having a bad day. We’ll deal with that in an upcoming edition.  

— Hopefully, that helped you figure out what to do with that liquid that’s congealing around your feet. Remember, no one ever died running like hell away from something… 

… well, no, that’s not true. But you know what we mean. ]]> http://bumpsinthenight.tv/blog/2009/06/04/soyouve-encountered-a-strange-oozegoopstuff/feed/ 0