Take our advice…it just might save your body AND your soul.

Dear April, I had a lot of fun playing “ghost hunters” the other night. Maybe you can discover some more ectoplasm later? – John

In your FACE, Claude. LITERALLY! -Greg

I’m sorry I shot you in the face, Cooper…twice. – Emmett

Oops. -Greg

Why didn’t we use Michele Boyd for this scene? – Emmett

I can haz troll? – Greg
Ur doin it wrong. – John

He wasn’t one of those halluncinogenic frogs. Darn. – Angelique

“This is the worst ‘True Blood’ fan-fiction ever.” – RoninPainBringer

“I was in the bathroom with Greg. What could be scarier than that?” – John

“It’s the end of the world… and I feel itchy.”

Even Rick James couldn’t beat Freddy forever…

28 days later, you’re still dead on account of being stupid.

The real secret of the ooze is… it doesn’t work.

“Pod” spelled backwards is “dop.”

The Focus Group place hasn’t asked us to come back since.

A very special “Law & Order,” ripped from the headlines.

Lie-to-face resuscitation.

First rule of Shakespeare: exposition is best conveyed through writing on a character’s shirt.

The baby’s middle name will be “Two Buck.” It rolls off the tongue better than “Box Wine”… in more ways than one.

Actually, this is what “Episode I” should’ve been.

“She had already defeated a vampire with a piece of garlic pizza.”

This is actually the director’s cut of Stephen King’s “Silver Bullet,” as described by Gary Busey during a mescaline trip.

What a terrible night to have a curse. Or not to have a safeword.